Season 1 Episodes for Two and a Half Men
Episode 1 - Pilot
Charlies life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10 year old Jake to attract women.

Episode 2 - Big Flappy Bastards
While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie gets very upset. This prompts Jake to try and get Charlie to forgive him. Alan starts doing chores for Judith, in the hopes of them getting back together. During one of the tasks, Judith kisses Alan, leading him to believe that things will get back to the way they once were.

Episode 3 - Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes hes losing his wife, and son. Charlie suggests that they go drinking, and Alan agrees. After drinking the boys take a cab home, but at one point they end up at their mothers, where they try to tell her what they think of her, but fail in getting the point across.

Episode 4 - If I Cant Write My Chocolate Song, Im Going to Take a Nap
Charlie is very unhappy with his housekeepers decision to quit, after she experiences Alans demanding ways. Alan then offers to take on the role of housekeeper, but this situation doesnt work at all. So Alan decides to get the housekeeper to come back. Before Alan leaves, he puts Charlie in charge of getting Jake ready for a dinner with his mother and grandparents. Charlie also tries to get Rose to move on, and date other men. He finds both situations to be bigger challenges then he first thought.

Episode 5 - The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump
After spending a night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie sets up a play date with an unattached mother named Kate, and they hit it off. During one of their dates, Charlie seems like hes ready for a serious relation. Alan sets up a meeting with Gloria (one of the soccer moms) to write a soccer newsletter, but Gloria has other intentions for the evening, and he has no idea. During the evening another soccer mom, Brooke, tries to move in on Glorias plans.

Episode 6 - Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys
Charlie tries to teach Jake to avoid certain calls that Charlie doesnt want to deal with, like his mother (Evelyn) for one. Evelyn gets so frustrated with not being able to talk to Charlie, that she decides to drop in while in the neighborhood. She invites them to dinner, to meet her new boyfriend (Tommy). When the brothers get over to their mothers house, Charlie is shocked to realize that Tommys daughter is Olivia, one of the people he has been avoiding. Olivia tries to confront Charlie about their situation, but doesnt get the answer she wants, and throws a drink in his face, then storms off. After a week of not being able to contact their mother, Alan gets worried about her. So the brothers decide to go to her house and see if shes okay. They find her sitting in the dark and drinking, and she informs them that Tommy dumped her for a younger women. Later the brothers get Jake to try and cheer her up.

Episode 7 - If They Do Go Either Way, Theyre Usually Fake
Judith gets worried when, for a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of a female surfer friend of Charlies who is in the habit of walking around his place half naked. Then Alan gets worried about Judith after she becomes friends with the surfer girl.

Episode 8 - Twenty Five Little Pre pubers Without a Snootful
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the schools annual music show.

Episode 9 - Phase One, Complete
After meeting Wendy, a one night stand of Charlies, Jake befriends her. Charlie doesnt like this situation, as he believes Wendy is using Jake to further their relationship, and he has no intention to keep it going. It gets to the point were Wendy even starts spending time with Evelyn, and Charlie becomes desperate to get rid of Wendy. After Charlie breaks it off Jake becomes very unhappy with him, because he wont be able to see Wendy anymore. This forces Charlie to confront Jake and explain the situation as best as he can. Rose sees that Alan knows how to play scrabble, and asks him to teach her to play, he agrees. During the scrabble games the two bond, and Charlie suspects that she is using Alan to get closer to him, but doesnt pursue the issue.

Episode 10 - Merry Thanksgiving
In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner

Episode 11 - Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
While at the movies, the brothers bump into Judith and her new boyfriend. Seeing that Judith has changed her look, and the fact that Jake doesnt think Alan is as cool as Judith prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, hes going to have to change his look as well.

Episode 12 - Camel Filters Pheromones
When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

Episode 13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbor, who is out for revenge on her cheating husband, and her sister whos a hot soap opera actress, and needs Alan to come along. The problem is that Alan gets sick from Jake, so Charlie takes them to a steam room to help Alan get rid of his flu symptoms. This backfires, as Charlie also gets sick, but he has no intentions of canceling the date.

Episode 14 - I Cant Afford Hyenas
Stan, Charlies accountant, tries to explain Charlies financial woes to him.

Episode 15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)
Against Alans judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie.

Episode 16 - That Was Saliva, Alan (2)
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run Frankies daughter has a crush on Jake.

Episode 17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jakes guardians in the event of his death.

Episode 18 - An Old Flame with a New Wick
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex girlfriend is now a man (Chris ODonnell).

Episode 19 - I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Dont Remember You
Judiths sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jakes birthday party Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.

Episode 20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parents divorce, after he starts annoying everyone with his non stop guitar playing. So she suggests that they send Jake to a therapist. Alan doesnt agree at first, but after thinking about it, he believes it might not be such a bad idea.

Episode 21 - No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie jeopardizes Alans divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura.

Episode 22 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking Jake sees his therapist.

Episode 23 - Just Like Buffalo
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judiths divorcee support group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Episode 24 - Can You Feel My Finger
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.

Season 10 Episode 1 - I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden plans a big surprise for Zoeys birthday.

Season 10 Episode 2 - A Big Bag of Dog
Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.

Season 10 Episode 3 - Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.

Season 10 Episode 4 - You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
A friends visiting daughter makes Walden feel his age.

Season 10 Episode 5 - Thats Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Walden ignores Alans warnings and starts dating Rose.

Season 10 Episode 6 - Ferrets, Attack
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.

Season 10 Episode 7 - Avoid the Chinese Mustard
When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.

Season 10 Episode 8 - Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him Walden enjoys being the boy toy of a wealthy older woman.

Season 10 Episode 9 - I Scream When I Pee
Alans famous ex wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile when Berta isnt interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.

Season 10 Episode 10 - One Nut Johnson
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

Season 10 Episode 11 - Give Santa a Tail Hole
Walden juggles his two identities Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

Season 10 Episode 12 - Welcome to Alancrest
Alan invests Waldens money in Kates fashion line leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.

Season 10 Episode 13 - Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Alan and Walden go to Kates fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.

Season 10 Episode 14 - Run, Steven Staven Run
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.

Season 10 Episode 15 - Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
When Jake brings his 36 year old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

Season 10 Episode 16 - Advantage Fat, Flying Baby
Depressed on Valentines Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance Alans holiday plans go south.

Season 10 Episode 17 - Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.

Season 10 Episode 18 - The 904 from Pemberton
After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.

Season 10 Episode 19 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

Season 10 Episode 20 - Bazinga Thats from a TV Show
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18 year old daughter.

Season 10 Episode 21 - Another Night with Neil Diamond
Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.

Season 10 Episode 22 - My Bodacious Vidalia
With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

Season 10 Episode 23 - Cows, Prepare to be Tipped
Walden dates an attractive 22 year old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner) Jake and Alan go on a trip.

Season 11 Episode 1 - Nangnangnangnang
Charlies 25 year old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.

Season 11 Episode 2 - I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
When Walden feels cramped in his own house, Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her boyfriend, Marty. Meanwhile, Alan becomes Lyndseys other man.

Season 11 Episode 3 - This Unblessed Biscuit

Season 11 Episode 4 - TBA